That damned MSN Messenger…

Do you remember the very first time you were watching an R-rated movie with your parents and a hot and steamy sex scene came on? Do you remember that first horrible tinge of total embarrassment that just makes everything in the room go eerily quiet? Now I am not talking about the “you farting in public and blaming the dog” embarrassment, this is much worse. Well, I think I have finally reached that level of embarrassment yesterday… Allow me to explain and let everyone get a cool hearty laugh on my part. 😉

So anyway, I am hanging out with a friend and I am showing her my laptop and how to do some basic HTML and stuff (she’s got dsl and I set up her home network like a couple of months ago). I just plug in to get the wicked fast connection and I start downloading some music showing her the beauty of peer-to-peer file sharing. I am showcasing all of this stuff to her family (mind you her dad’s a priest and her mom’s sort of like tipper gore) and then I leave it there downloading some stuff.

Now, MSN Messenger has this nasty ass habit on my laptop of starting up and logging me in automatically even though I turn it off (perhaps it’s all of those registry hacks I made or something). One of my friends sees that I am on and starts sending me a file… A rather large file without me knowing. This friend of mine is your stereotypical drunk, horny, white, Abercrombie & Fitch wearing, pop-rock loving fratboy (I can imagine some of you know where this is going already…) who loves his share of on-line porn, especially the more “slightly out of the norm” variety. He knows not to send them to my work account because well ya know, I don’t have speakers on my machine… So every once in a blue moon he sends me some stuff and I watch get a laugh out of it and move on with chatting to whomever I am chatting with.

Now, we’re all there talking about the internet and the dad starts with a discussion about the bad parts of the net… Ya know warez, porn, hackers, Wayne Newton websites and I obviously agree, but I proceed to tell him that the net has really just grown into it’s own culture. It happens everywhere, you place a whole mess of people somewhere and everyone will be all good and dandy and follow the rules, but eventually things like this start popping up. It’s human nature…

So now the conversation starts turning good and we’re all throwing in our two cents when all of a sudden weird noises are coming from my laptop… Almost like sucking noises and grunts. Curious, the mom gets up and starts heading back to check out what the noise is… She goes to the kitchen to make sure the faucet’s not leaking and then the garbage disposal and then the dishwasher… Nada… As she is walking back she takes a look at my laptop just as I was talking about something or other when she lets out “What on earth is she doing!!! Oh my heavens!!!”

Startled, we all head back (as she is red-faced, bug-eyed and clasping the sides of her face) to my laptop when all of a sudden we see some Asian girl ummm… Doing something to a guy and he’s “releasing himself” all over her face. My mind races back to when I was 12 years old watching a movie with my parents and a naked girl is on top of a guy screaming her ass off as my dad hurriedly (while cursing) changes the channel only to turn on Playboy (cursing even more) by accident and then the local Mets game (cursing now because they are losing badly)… Remember that embarrassment I was talking about first?? Well, there ya go baby! It’s come back with a vengeance!

My face was redder than last night’s cranberry juice and vodka…
The dad up and freaked babbling some religious stuff…
The wife was still screaming in shock…
My friend was laughing her ass off and states in the most calm of voices…

Bukake

Then starts laughing all over again…

I closed the laptop (still playing that file mind you), I thanked them for a pleasant evening and I went through their door just as the girl in the porn was saying “yeah baby give me more”. I get downstairs, close the file, send a huge f-you to my friend, shut down and she calls me up ten minutes later still laughing and all I could think to ask her was how the hell she knew “bukake”! Eh well, I get stuck in the most fascinating circumstances, don’t you agree??

Categories
blog

Where’s my damn snow?!

Have you ever done something that reminds you of something your parents typically do? Just now I was standing at the bathroom mirror looking at my face and stretching my face just like my mom does! Making O’s with my mouth, stretching my eyebrows up and down, making huge smiles and bigger frowns.

Just the other day I was standing over my brother watching him play Metal Gear Solid 2 while I was scratching my back just like my dad. I scratch my head when I am thinking just like him. I’m starting to laugh like he does. Oh jeez it’s starting… Isn’t it amazing how many mannerisms you pick up from your parents? There are so many things that I do that I picked up from my parents or friends. Funny how impressionable we are when they spend a good deal of time with another person eh??

Waaaaaaaaaaaaah, no snow yet… 🙁 How come people down in Georgia get snow and I don’t??! That’s it, I am filing a complaint with Mother Nature, hmmph!

In other news, I’m going to Madame Tussauds this weekend! Anyone been there? Since Devina’s fairly New York illiterate, I’m takin’ her in to show her some of the sites. She wants to hit Tussauds and I wanna hit MOMA. Then I’ll take her into the Village and hit some of the hot spots, then get some Mexican on West 4th and prolly end up on Bleecker bar hopping. If yer in town why don’t ya join us??… 😉

Categories
blog

Merry New Year! Hah hah hah hah hah!

Happy New Year!!!

So what is everyone doing for this fine day? Regardless of how you all choose to celebrate today, stay very safe and be happy. If you choose to get sloshed (as I sure will) make sure ya take a cab home or find someone to spend the night with!

Categories
blog

Another working Saturday

Ugh…

Another Saturday morning spent @ work as opposed to my lazy ass sleeping in bed. Then again that’s what I get for putting off this project for so long. Turns out I also will most likely come in on Monday and get sober Enough on Tuesday morning to come in as well. Ho hum, so life goes on. This project I am on involves making roughly 60 CDs for this big ass sales meeting next week for all of our lovely sales reps. As to why the reps can not just log on from home and do this themselves is beyond me but what can ya do…

Oddly enough I am getting a manicure today.

Why you ask?

Beats me I say…

Devina’s quite the sickly one and I am doing the boyfriend duty of driving down to take care of her, make her chicken soup and stuff. Then when she feels better, she’s getting her manicure done. So say OK and then she asked me if I wanted one as well. After much thought and debate, I figured what the hey. I’ve seen plenty of guys do it. I’d like to see what a manicured set of hands will feel like on me. Then afterwards she wants to go bowling since we haven’t done it in a while so that should be fun.

Hmmm, now that I am thinking about it wouldn’t that be the very last thing you would want to do after a manicure?!? :-/

Oooh, I can make myself a nice 80’s CD for the drive down to her place… Check out my most recent mix:

  • Simply Red – Holding Back the Years
  • Don Henley – The End of the Innocence
  • Sophie B Hawkins – As I Lay Me Down
  • Bangles – Manic Monday
  • Tears for Fears – Everybody Wants to Rule the World
  • Eurythmics – Sweet Dreams
  • Poison – Fallen Angel
  • Human League – Human
  • Boy George and the Culture Club – Karma Chameleon
  • Bon Jovi – Living on a Prayer
  • Prince and the New Power Revolution – Let’s Go Crazy
  • Thompson Twins – Hold me Now
  • Alannah Myles – Black Velvet
  • A-Ha – Take on me
  • Dire Straits – Romeo and Juilet
  • Michael Jackson – Billy Jean
  • Billy Idol – White Wedding
  • Crowded House – Don’t Dream it’s Over

Whatcha think?? Damn, I need to get all of my cd mixes up on here but coding that is gonna be quite the task. Anyone out there know if I should just used SQL stored procedures exclusively for this task?? Something tells me that’s the best way to do it but I hate SQL so.