Seven dirty words

Just got back from Herberts (our local pool hall) and did pretty well, my new pool cue is still making me play soooo much better. Beat Devina 5 games to zip! Muahahahahaha! Eh well, I’ll get my ass beat on one of these days.

So I’ve been meaning to put these two e-mails I have received up here but haven’t had the time, so here they are. Enjoy!

I got this doozy from Steph:

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.”

This one is from Devina:

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, “Gosh, if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.”

There was a fish in the water thinking, “Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him.”

There was a bear on the shore thinking, “Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly and I will eat him.

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. “Gosh,” he thought, “If that fly goes down three inches and that fish leaps for it …that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I’ll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch.”

(You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but, there was more.)

A wee mouse by the hunter’s foot was thinking, “Gosh, If that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish …that dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich.”

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, “Gosh… If that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich …then I can have mouse for lunch.”

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly …the bear grabs the fish …the hunter shoots the bear …the mouse grabs the sandwich …the cat jumps for the mouse …the mouse ducks …the cat falls into the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is: “Whenever a fly goes down three inches ….Some pussy is in danger.”

Hehe.. I liiiiiike that one… 😉


I smell sex and candy

Holy shit!

Today’s Wednesday?!?! I thought it was Tuesday, you know I did find it very odd that Buffy was on yesterday (when I thought it was Monday), so I guess that explains it… Jeez… I’m gettin old… Gonna need dentures soon. Now the question I wanna know is what the hell did I do on Monday? Oh well, I better not ask, if I forgot it was for a good reason.

Well, if you have noticed the dates between the first and last posts, they are a bit off. Been workin’ a lot on updating the separate areas on this site and also other personal stuff. BUT I did manage to keep a private journal on my laptop that I’ll just copy over whenever my ass gets back home. As for the updates, the guestbook works (and it only took about an hour to create from scratch!), the comments area works and all of the nicey nice security checks as well…

So tonight, I’m hanging out with Karen finally and we’re going to get some grub and have some drinks! Yay! Haven’t seen her in way too long of a time… That cutie is a barrel of laughs and I miss hanging out with her soooooooooo much. Perhaps she’ll get to meet Devina too if she gets out of her karate class early enough.

So anywayz, Lynne finally got her new layout up and as expected, it kicks ass! This time it’s a Sarah McLachlan theme, which of course is good because I worship the woman… She can sing me to bed anytime! So anywayz check out Lynne’s page, it’s worth it. 🙂

Vanessa has also put up a new layout! I used to work with her at my old job at Rutgers but I don’t think she A) remembers me or B) knows I am an avid fan of her journal page… Hmmm… Perhaps I should write her an e-mail just to see how she’s doing. Yup yup, I’ll do that tonight or tomorrow (if my sorry ass remembers). She was definitely a hell of alotta fun to chill with when I had the free time at my old job.

Well… My ass is leavin’ now and soon to be waiting in traffic on the turnpike going to meet up with Karen, so I bid you all adieu. Hopefully on my drive I’ll remember what the fuck I did on Monday.


First Post!

Ahh, I absolutely rock!

Well, welcome to my very own journal page on da net! This is where I, like a hell of alotta people out there, just talk about my feelings. This page is always going to be a work in progress with adding features and stuff. Oh, i suppose I should make it known that I am a web developer so I didn’t download anything like Grey Matter or any of that blogger stuff. This is all hand written ASP/SQL code baby! Hopefully, once I get this all lookin pretty and stuff I can package it up so that way those who prefer an ASP/SQL version of a blogger system can use one. 🙂

A’ight, lemme get back to some hardcore coding again while watching the horrible flick, The Big Hit. Then again, China Chow is in it so it can’t be that bad eh?