Take these broken wings…

Been purposely keeping myself very busy the last few days or so to try and override this annoying feeling of loneliness. I guess it’s normal to feel this way when you are used to jumping from relationship to relationship the way I have done things in the past. In a way, I have been kind of proud of myself for staying single for this long and avoiding the loneliness trap that caused me to get into new relationships a lot sooner than I should have in the past. However, it’s starting to get to me now and I’m not liking this feeling one bit. I’m happy that my Tuesdays and Thursdays have me pretty much preoccupied with something to keep my mind off of this. Now to find things other than hitting the gym to occupy my time on the rest of the days to keep me busy and all.

Speaking of which, tonight’s CERT class dealt with disaster psychology and it was a pretty interesting discussion. In it we learned about the psychology of traumatic events and how to attempt to handle situations like let’s say, a train derailment, since a fairly major NJ Transit line runs partly through my town. We learned how to react to the victims, their families, onlookers and even rescuers as well. I’m really enjoying this training and I am most definitely looking forward to continuing my training once the classes are done.

I’m also happy to report that I am not nearly as nervous as I was last week with regards to the salsa classes. I’ve been bugging Devina to help me practice the dance steps and last night I went over to her place and we practiced for a good hour. She told me that I was doing a lot better than when I was in class and that I also seemed a lot more relaxed which is a great thing for me. When I think of this Thursday night’s class, I don’t feel that jumpiness and anxiousness that I felt last week. Instead, I am feeling a little psyched about the class and the stuff I am going to learn next. Hopefully, I’ll be able to quickly learn the new moves this coming class. 🙂

Did not do too much this weekend other than get in some good relaxation. Devina wound up spending the night on Friday and the next day I was in the mood to hit a museum in the city. We figured on hitting the Museum of Natural History but did not get to leave until about 1pm. The train did not get into the city until about 2pm which pretty much nixed the plans of hitting the museum because it closed at 5:30pm. So, we decided to venture to 86th and 1st to a sushi place that was recommended by my friend Al. Unfortunately, it was also raining most of the day in NYC so we got wet trying to hail down a cab which she was not too happy about. We found the sushi place and unfortunately, it was just so-so. I forgot the name of the place, but it’s toward the end of 85th street and 1st. After that, we hopped back down the train and came straight into some lovely high winds and snow upon our arrival in Plainsboro. Driving back was pretty hairy because the roads were not plowed and Devina’s car sucks absolute ass in the rain. So we went to my place and I got my car to drive her to her place and I stayed over. The next day we went to grab her car and that was that… As far as the dynamics between us, something has changed lately. For some odd reason she’s being a lot more secretive around me lately which can pretty much just mean one thing. The only problem though is I do not understand why she just can’t be honest with me which is what irked me the most about our relationship in the past. I mean I tell her when I have dates with other people and such, but for some odd reason she’s keeping this one quiet. We’re not joined at the hip, so I’m a bit confused as to the whole cloak and dagger thing she is trying to pull, even though I know who she is now dating. Eh well, can not say I am surprised or let down because this is how she is…

Jeez, just looked at the time. My ass needs to get some sleep. What’s this with me and these late night entries? Heh.

4 replies on “Take these broken wings…”

What’s this with me and these late night entries? Heh.

could you possibly be bored? Eh?

>mooch< Nite

My friend is in the same boat you are as far as the loneliness goes. I think you are doing the right thing by spreading out and finding things to occupy your time. Plus you are putting yourself in places that you would meet new people. I got sick of meeting guys in bars because you never knew what you would get. But when you met people at other places it was easier. Does that make any sense?

You and she should talk though. I don’t expect you to date cause SC and NJ is just way too much for a LD relationship but you could become friends. It always helped me when I was lonely to befriend someone else in the same shoes as me.

Hang in there!

She probably doesn’t want you to know because maybe she thinks you feel something for her? And she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings? Could be way off on this one, but that would be the only reason I could think of, just because you two have been spending a lot of time together and stuff.

Comments are closed.