Several years ago, one of my exes asked me one of a small number questions every man despises coming out of a woman’s mouth.
“Do I look fat in this?”
See, her first mistake in asking me that was that she knows I do not lie to significant others and friends, regardless of the situation or the outcome. It’s a trait of mine that all of my friends have come to expect of me and respect me for. So, instead of telling her she looked like a sausage busting out of it’s casing in a particular dress she was wearing, I simply told her she should wear something else because it was not flattering to her figure. She huffed and puffed angrily around and kept on the dress and we left for a party at a club in the city. While at the party, she did notice everyone looking at her oddly, but no one said a thing. The next day a few of her close friends called to asked her why she wore that and pretty much flat out told her she looked pretty bad in it. Later on in the week, she came to me to apologize for not believing me when I told her what I did about the dress. I mean she did not look terrible in the dress, it’s just depending on one’s figure, there are certain things that are very hard to pull off. Now being of the Latino ethnicity, I prefer my ladies with a bit of meat on their bones. So, a skin-tight full-length dress may not be the greatest thing to wear but perhaps something a wee bit looser, yet showing off the lovely curves, would have been a wiser choice.
So from that point on, she knew I would always tell her the truth, even though she may not like the answer. While I recognize most people need a little ego stroking to make themselves feel better, I have always believed that lying to stroke an ego is always a bad thing in the end. If I had said she looked fabulous in that dress I would have never heard the end of it the next day and she would not have trusted my honest opinion of something again.
Anyway, that’s just a back story.
Yesterday I was listening to the radio and this topic came up on the morning show I listen to sometimes. The woman DJ was saying how she was upset at the male DJ for telling her she looked like she was gaining a little weight. It was nothing terrible, just a little weight gain in the booty which is *NEVER* a bad thing in my opinion (and the DJs agreed it was a very good thing), but she took offense to it. She pretty much stated that every single woman out there never wants to hear the truth and you should always say that they look fabulous regardless so that they get their egos boosted. Thankfully a lot of women went against what she said and told her all that action does is encourage lying in a relationship. Now, of course one should exercise extreme tact when a situation like this arises, but I’ve always felt you should be truthful in these matters. I mean would you rather hear you may not look your absolute best from the one who loves you deeply no matter how you look or some complete stranger?
So, since my friends list is like 95% predominantly female, I pose these simple questions to you. When it comes to a question such as this or any other one. Would you rather hear the truth (in a very tactful manner of course) or would you rather be lied to or are you confident in yourself to know never to ask that question to begin with? Why or why not? If you would rather be lied to, then why would you expect your mate to always be honest with you when you encourage them to lie in the first place?