The single life

I think there’s a good mix of single/attached people who read this, but this is geared mostly towards the single folks.

Do you like it? If so, why? If you do no like it, why?

I was having a chat with a friend of mine yesterday about the fact that she is miserable living hew new found single life at this martini bar in New Brunswick. Now, I can understand if you have been single for a good number of years and want to be in a relationship with someone. That’s completely understandable. Heck after a couple of years, I will most likely be looking to find someone to be in a relationship with. Though I hope the rates for those dating services like go down! 😉

However, this girl is at most one week into the single life and she’s already looking for a new man. Apparently, she’s just one of those types who always need to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone and it sucks to say this but I felt so sorry for her. She admitted she was jealous of me because I seemed to be embracing the single life much better than her and it’s true. I’m totally digging just being me and alone now, but, that’s because I’ve never really been “alone and me” for an insanely long time. I recognize the fact that for my own sanity I just need to be detached from an intimate relationship for a while. I still hang out with a close circle of friends and I enjoy meeting lots of new people, but that’s as far as I am taking it. Perhaps she just isn’t at that point of her life now where she has not realized the blissfulness of just being single?

22 replies on “The single life”

I spent a long time wishing I were in a relationship until I realized that I didn’t have an identity. ie, If I wasn’t with someone, I had little purpose, and I was always depressed about it. So once I figured that out I made some changes and I am now hpapy with myself and the person I am. I don’t need someone else to justify and validate my existence. Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great but I am complete without one. If I happen to be in one, that just adds to my life but I don’t need one to be happy.

I like being single for the simple fact that I don’t have to worry about games and cheating.

I think you have to be able to be happy being alone before you can truly be happy being with someone else.

Only a week into singlehood?? Wow, I’m about near that same place and I’m LOVING it. The thought of not having to worry about anyone but me and not having anything holding me down is so exciting. I was just telling a friend of mine that I’m not looking to jump back into any type of relationship anytime soon – although I do wish I could find someone really good in bed and leave it at that for a little while.

Some people just need to be with someone. *shrugs* I guess I’m not one of those people.

I would love to be single again..
If me and my b/f ever break up, that’s it for me, for awhile!!!

I once had a friend who never ended a relationship without having a back up plan. This often involved cheating, but she couldn’t end a relationship without finding someone new – she found it impossible to be alone.

Me, I’m tired of being single. It wouldn’t be so rough if I could go out all the time and do things, but I am home with my kids. Which means being alone most nights.

“Perhaps she just isn’t at that point of her life now where she has not realized the blissfulness of just being single?”

Blissfulness? Are you kidding me? I’m single and miserable. Granted, the miserable part is more a by-product of other things, being single certainly plays a part in it too. I’m sick of being single. While my life isn’t overly exciting, I’d like someone to share things with. A good portion of it is just missing the touch of another person. There’s probably a dozen or so other things I could think of to throw in along with it, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about anyway.

I’m starting to think that maybe I should head to New Brunswick a little more often. It is only 20 minutes from here anyway. 😉 Oh yeah, I wouldn’t wait, hoping that the prices of those dating services go down. They’ll only go up. And I’ll be deeper in the hole than I already am to eHarmony. *sigh*

Considering I was married for the majority of my adult life…it has taken me a good while to get used to being single. My divorce was final 4 years ago. We were together 11, married for almost 7.

Sometimes I feel like I’m ok with single life, but the majority of the time I feel really lonely. I really wish I could get to that place of being a “happy singleton” like some of my friends. Life would be a whole lot easier if I just accepted it.

When I found myself single, it took me a good 2 months or so to get over the break up. After that, I was loving all the attention from dating! Maybe she just needs a little bit of time to adjust.

I know I shouldn’t say this but I do wonder what it’s like to be single and alone…not that I think it’s lonely, but just to be me, to do the things I want and not worry what the other person will think or say or feel. I say this because for four years in h.s. three of them I had the same boyfriend. Then we broke up, and I was single for a few months, then had the next boyfriend for a year. We broke up when I was about 18. Then I moved to the east coast, lived here a year, and at 19 got married. Not for the right reasons, apparently, but 8 1/2 years we are still together. And as an adult now at the age of 27 (I don’t really consider 19 an adult for me) I wonder, what my life would be like single and as a grown up. Does that make sense???

Yeah I think my friend falls into this realm of well-being. It’s like in order for her to prove she’s something, she neds to be with someone. Which in my mind is a very dangerous way to look at your own life.

“Don’t get me wrong, relationships are great but I am complete without one. If I happen to be in one, that just adds to my life but I don’t need one to be happy.”


“although I do wish I could find someone really good in bed and leave it at that for a little while”

Yeah, I think if most single people had that area covered (at least for a small while) things would be better. There’d be less hunger, poverty, ummm… yeah. There would just be more happier single people. *lol*

Wow! That’s just wrong about your friend!

Yeah, I kind of understand why you’re tired of it. =(

Yeah, eventually there will come a time in every single person’s life where they are getting a wee bit tired of it and want to move onto a relationship where they can share their lives with someone in a very meaningful way. But there’s a good thing about spending some time with yourself as well. You do the whole soul searching stuff and all of that lovely jazz.

Yeah, all of my friends used eHarmony and they love it to pieces. Kinda sucks that it’s so pricey per month.

Ahhh, yeah I can imagine it would get rough for you at times because a good part of your life was spent with another. It’s definitely very tough getting used to not having the other person in your life regardless of most of the circumstances why you are not with them anymore.

Nah, she’s the type just needs to be with someone for the sake of being with someone. The part that sucks for her is that she’s pretty effing hot so it’s not like she’s always being mobbed by men so it makes it extra tough for her not to just be alone and get used to it.

Perfect sense to me!

My first girlfriend and I were together for 4 years, was single for all about a week. Then I moved in with my next girlfriend and we were together for 1 and a half years. Was single for roughly less than a month. The next relationship was another 4 years and yes like three weeks after another a 5 year relationship with the most recent ex. Yeap, roughly 14 years straight of relationships and I’m not even sure who “I” am. I’m completely sure if I wasn’t in so many relationships I’d definitely be a much more different man. However I wonder would the man that I could have been be better or worse than the person I am now who I’m very happy with despite the time spent sharing my life with another person… Weird eh?

Yes and no to it being weird. I think we always wonder, at one point or another, about whether the current version of ourselves is better or worse than other possible versions. I suppose that the impetus we have to being the best version is that we are only given one chance at it.

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