Conversation I had last night with a close friend at a local diner:
Her: I want to get a tattoo or a piercing. What do you think?
Me: Cool. Why though? You’re not in college anymore…
Her: Because I want to be a rebel and be different from everyone else silly and you’re cool if you have one!
Me: Oh you mean get your tongue pierced like those 5 girls at that table over there? Or like friend A, B, C, D, E, F and G?
Me: Hmmm, ok. You do realize that if you get that tongue piercing you want, you’ll be just like them right? How is that being different?
Her: Because I want to rebel against “da man!”
Me: *holding my stomach because I’m laughing hysterically at the “da man” comment* So tell me how copying all of your friends and a whole shitload of women out there is rebelling against “da man?” *wipes tears from eyes*
Her: Hmmm, I dunno, why are you laughing so much?
Me: Because you’re an idiot sweetie.
*Dave gets kicked under the table*
Me: Wouldn’t it be logical to assume that by *not* getting a tattoo or a piercing like all of your friends, then you are rebelling against the norm? Just because you see it on TV or read it in Cosmo, it doesn’t mean you have to follow what they say like the mindless sheep most others are right?
*I can see the gears turning in that pretty noggin’ of hers*
Me: Wow, you really take a long time to think things through eh sweetie?
*Dave gets kicked much harder under the table*
*And it hurt like a bitch*
Her: Yeah, you’re right. So how can I be different from my friends in a cool way then?
Me: Get a better car than that piece of shit Neon that’s always in the shop. Get something better than them because in the end it’s all about you being better than your friends so that you can draw the most ego-boosting attention right?
Her: Hmmph. *looks a wee bit pissed, then dejected and finally pouts*
Me: Awww, what’s wrong love?
Her: Nothing. *crosses her arms*
*Dave sighs mentally and says to himself “Oh jeez, she’s so typical”*
Me: Awww, I’m sorry sweetie… Hmmm, though you’re quite beautiful when you pout especially because of the way your upper lip curls in that really cute way.
Her: *big grin* Really?
Me: Oh yeah…
Her: *as if nothing ever happened* Ok, so if I get that Jetta like friend Z has then I’ll be cool right?
Me: Baaaa! Baaa! Baaa!
Me: Yes, that would be a cool car to get. Now hurry up and finish that burger, I’m sure you want to catch “Sex in the City” and I gotta go meet up with my roommate.
Her: Oh shit! That’s on tonight right?
Me: Yeap, I think so.
Her: *bats her eyelashes* You’re paying right?
Me: Sure, you need the money to get that piece of shit out of the garage right?
Ahhh, I love my friend so…