Sly O’Reilly

Just got this very cute joke from my super cool bud Lindsey. =)

One evening John O’Reilly and his toastmasters club were hitting the Guinness and having a contest to see who could come up with the best toast. John O’Reilly hoisted his beer high and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” With that, he was instantly awarded the prize of Toast of the Night.

Later that evening, he went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”

“Aye,” she said, “and what was your toast?”

“Here’s to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife!” he replied.

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day Mary ran into one of John’s toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “Did you know John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?”

“Aye,” she said. “I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!”

7 replies on “Sly O’Reilly”

A little boy is out on the farm before breakfast..supposedly doing chores, but hes playin around instead…his mom calls him in for breakfast, and she watches as he stomps his way inside, apparently irritated at having to do so many chores. On his way in, he kicks the cow, frightens the pigs and throws a chicken…he finally gets in, and sees a dry bowl of cereal on the table where normally he would have a big bacon and egg breakfast…

Whats this, he asks his mother? Well, she says…When you were coming in, I saw you kick the cow, so there will be no milk for you…I saw you frighten the pigs, so there will be no bacon for you, and I saw you throw the chicken, so you will get no eggs…If you hurt others, they will not give you the things you want most..this will teach you that….

Hurmpf the little boy says, and starts eating his dry cereal…

The mother calls the father in, and he accidentally steps on the cats tail…making the cat screetch..the little boy looks up at his mother, then at his father, and then back at his mother…

So, are you going to tell him? Or am I?

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