The shit I see on the road

While I was driving home today I saw the nastiest thing ever. I’m driving along and manage to look inside the Escalade behind me. Sitting in the drivers seat was some fat ass blonde girl all sorts of pissed off yelling into the cell phone planted on her right side like it was some sort of organ. Of course the dumbass really wasn’t looking at the road and she got a little too close for comfort a few times. So, while we’re sitting at a light, she started sticking her pinky into her ear and starts digging around furiously. She then pops out that pudgy finger and examines what must have been a huge ass chunk of wax and proceeds to fucking eat it. Oh no, I shit you not… That nasty ass bitch picked an ear booger and ate it, however what came next really made me almost puke. After sucking on that finger like she was giving it head, she then started picking her nose and when I say she picked her nose, I swear she went up to her elbows just digging for gold baby. After a half of minute of this, she popped out her finger and examined the nostril nugget as it the thing was solid gold or something.

No, she didn’t eat it… Instead, she attempted to flick it off of her finger and onto the road, but the stupid idiot forgot that her window was closed, so it got stuck there. Completely abhorred, I started moving again and got over to the next lane. I let her pass me and I saw that fucking piece of snot stuck right on the window…

I still haven’t been able to eat.