Every once in a while I have rather odd dreams. Take for example, the funky one I blogged about some time ago. Yesterday I had one that probably wouldn’t top that one, but it’s just as funky.
So I’m hanging out with Devina at one of her friend’s houses. I’m not sure which friend of hers, but a friend who was throwing a barbecue nonetheless. The party is going pretty well and we’re all getting smashed drinking martinis and eating Sabrett’s hotdogs. Yeah, that mix kind of nauseates me now that I think about it, however we all were raving about how great the hot dogs were in the dream. Out of nowhere bugles blast and in walks David Boreanaz of Angel fame wearing those medieval outfits of the guys who blow the bugles that signal when important people come in. He grabs his bugle and starts playing that introduction song and in walks Joe Pesci, Robert Deniro and Andre the Giant all dress in badda bing gangster outfits. David then drops to the floor, kneels and scurries off to the hamburger area where he starts wolfing down some burgers.
Everyone in the party then starts gathering around the mafioso trio and starts kissing pinky rings like you wouldn’t believe. Devina then schmoozes her way towards DeNiro (hmmph, figures…) and they start chattin’ it up and she’s hanging all over him. The party then moves into the living room where I’m there chattin’ with Andre and some cheerleader. Devina is nestled in one corner with Bobby D talking up a storm when Pesci creeps over and starts making the moves on her. She tries to shoo him away but he’s quite persistent in trying to hook up with her. DeNiro sees this and gets up to go find another girl in the party and Andre stops talking with me and proceeds to sit in the chair where Deniro sat to keep Devina from running away. I see this and start getting upset that Pesci isn’t taking the hint.
Then for some unknown reason, the cheerleader stands up on the sofa and starts doing a cheer for Pesci and then proceeds to sit on my shoulders straddling my neck (kind of how people play chicken in a swimming pool) while continuing the cheering. I’m totally pissed off at this point and start yelling at Pesci to back off or I’ll take care of him. Andre sees this and starts laughing his ass off so bad that he starts to pee his pants. He then gets up in embarrassment and runs to the bathroom all while Pesci is still acting all “Mr. Octupus” like with Devina. So I get up, with the cheerleader still sitting on my neck cheering, and walk over to a dresser and open up the top drawer. In there is a very old bottle of Dom and I grab it. I walked over to Pesci and told him to back off and proceed to bash his head with the bottle. I hit him once and he was stunned, then hit him again and he was knocked out and finally smacked him a third time which broke the bottle on his head. I placed the busted bottle back into the dresser drawer and grabbed Devina and started to walk out with the girl still cheering on my neck…
Then I woke up.
Mind you I ate nothing weird last night except for a spinach salad and some freshly backed cookies. Why can’t I have dreams like this every night?