Daddy needs some new shoes

I went to the lovely Taj Mahal this weekend to meet up with some friends for lunch. While I don’t really like to gamble, I will usually spend a few bucks and give my luck a whirl. Stupidly, (and I always fall for them) I dropped 30 bucks on the slot machines. Mostly because I figure my mom’s luck on the slots would rub off on me one of these days.

Unfortunately it didn’t work.

Normally, I’m a blackjack type. However, I refuse to play by the rules and generally bet based on instinct rather than the unwritten rules (split this, double down on that, pass on this always hit on that). Thus, I piss off every single hard core blackjack played on the table. Especially those little old ladies who have no problem yelling at you about how you’re messing up their game. You know what though, I rarely leave a blackjack table with nothing less than double what I started with. I’m the one looking to make some cash, screw your silly rules.

Since there was nothing but seniors on the blackjack tables, I decided against playing blackjack. We walked around looking for a cheap five dollar roulette table where I could watch and learn how to play. It didn’t seem to hard and it was interesting watching the different types of people there. There was this one dumbass who came in with two hundred bucks, got himself up to five hundred and in a fit of utter greediness, lost it all on the next turn. I lost my first twenty by just placing my four chips on actual numbers rather than the outside areas.

The next twenty I played a little more wisely. I played only whether it would land on black or red, odd or even, within a certain range or not. Little by little the chip stack grew until I reached a hundred bucks. I put seventy bucks worth of chips in my pocket so that if anything, I broke even for the day and played with the rest. I’m glad I did because I lost those six chips quite quickly… I stopped playing and watched my friend Shelly play until she got all of the money she lost back and a bit more. We went to cash our chips and I left to head back home.

While we were looking for a cheap roulette table, I checked out the craps table and I’m sorry, but that game is so damned confusing. Can someone please explain to me how that game works like you would describe it to a child? I can not for the life of me understand it and I know you have the best odds of winning at that game.

Everyone I ask just says, “It’s complicated.”