Gas station etiquette

To the gas station attendants of the lovely state of New Jersey:

  1. Why must your ignorant ass sit on my car while waiting for the gas to pump. If I wanted my car to be blessed with your greasy overall-wearing derriere, I’d mention it to you somehow. If you’re tired, get a god damn chair and stop using my car as your butt rest!
  2. There’s a warning on every gas pump and nozzle specifically forbidding “topping off” of gas. Apparently, every single god damn one of you either doesn’t know how to read or speak English because I have never seen anyone just stop when the tank is full.

    No please, I get off on that wonderfully noxious odor emanating from my car while I am driving along because you overfilled it.

    Yes, please fill up the tank so much that the gas proceeds to spill over and ruin my paint job.

    Yes, I do believe you can dump in an extra 8 gallons worth of gas into my car even though the pump and tank “thinks” 13 gallons is enough. If you want to bring it up to the nearest $.05 or $.10 cent mark to make it easier, I have no problem with that. Dumping in 2 dollars more to round it off to the nearest 20 is fucking ridiculous.

    One of these days I swear I am going to take that damn pump, ram it down your throat and top your ass off. Perhaps then you’ll learn.

  3. When removing the nozzle after lovingly overfilling my tank, why don’t you make sure every last drop is out before you pull out? There’s nothing more aggravating than seeing gas still coming out of the nozzle all and all over the rear of my car. How’s about I light a match and throw it on the floor in front of your lazy ass? You know, pumping gas is a lot like taking a piss. Whip out the hog, let it drain, give it a couple of shakes, wipe off (if you’re so inclined) and then put your pants back on. Why can’t you do the same with putting gas in my car? Then again your dumb ass probably loves the feeling of urine all over your undies. That would definitely explain the god awful smell…

I can’t wait until New Jersey goes self-serve… ARRRRGH!

2 replies on “Gas station etiquette”

LOL…I love self serve gas stations myself Davers, and seeing as how that’s all we have in good ole’ NC, I guess I’m lucky. I’m glad I don’t pump gas in Jersey for a living…I’d be afraid to run into you…

Comments are closed.