On my commute to work this morning, the radio show host I listen to most had a very humorous list of Halloween cliches. I’ve been looking all morning for it, but I can not seem to find a list like he was reading from. I was sure one of my friends would forward me a copy of it, alas, I have not received one. So, I have decided to start up a small one (with the help of Ada) and hopefully the rest of you will add to it. I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it after reading the first few:
Horror movie survival tactics:
- Ladies, when checking for an odd noise in your house, please put something on other than a skimpy teddy. This seems to attract men with face masks or steel claws for fingers.
- When checking for that weird noise in your basement, use a flashlight. Candles will always go out in those pesky mysterious drafts that come up.
- If your house starts talking to you, leave immediately.
- If the toilets seem to overflow with black goop, leave immediately.
- If your kid disappears into the TV, leave immediately.
- A slowly walking villain will always catch up with you even if you are running at top speed. Find a car with a working battery and use that instead.
- Please watch your step when running away from harm. You will most likely trip and hurt your ankle at a most inopportune moment.
- If your friend starts looking deranged and looking like they are going to crack your skull open to suck the brains, run away as fast as you can.
- If you’re walking around in a forest with a group of friends looking for oh let’s say a mythical witch, make sure you have a cell phone or GPS unit handy in case you get lost.
- If you get a pet and along comes instructions not to wet it, feed it after midnight, or shine light on it.. return it immediately.
- Generally men in hockey, white or hooded masks are a very bad thing.
- If someone calls you up and thinks you are Sidney Prescott, leave the house immediately.
Feel free to add more. 🙂