Bastard Operator from Hell – Dave style

Me: This is Dave, how may I help you?

Laptop User: Hey Dave, it’s **, I have a question to ask you regarding something I bought for the laptop.

Me: Sure, go right ahead.

User: Well, it’s an add-on modem I can plug into the side thingie here to get out on the internet faster.

Me: You already have a 56k modem installed on your machine. There’s no need to get another modem for your machine, that’s just a waste of money.

User: Really? I was told I can use this modem and add it on to my modem to make it faster.

Dave’s Head: Hmmm, I suppose I could show him how to shotgun the connection. Then again, I had to show this guy how to double click a mouse to open up a file just a month ago.

Me: Well, yeah, but you run the risk of the machine exploding because of the added resources you will need for running the modem.

User: Shit! Get out of here?!

Dave’s Head: Holy shit, he’s falling for it, he’s actually falling for it…

User: I’m taking this back ASAP. Thanks for the help chief! I’ll see ya when I am in the area on the 5th of November so you can show me how to set up a wireless network at home.

Dave’s Head: I hate being called chief dick…
Dave’s Hand: click, click, click, type, type, type, type…
Dave’s Head: Select November 5th, add date reminder, you’re going to be sick today.

Me: Sure thing **, it’s been good hearing from ya.

I like being a dick sometimes… 🙂

4 replies on “Bastard Operator from Hell – Dave style”

Damn Dave! That really was mean…then again, if that person believed you, well that’s pretty darn funny too. Haha…hope you’re doing well…

what a dumbass. tell him the 802.11 radio signals have been shown to cause massive internal bleeding but there’s a huge corporate/government conspiracy to keep it hush-hush…

Heh! I love idiotic users. I used to tell folks that sun spots caused all sorts of problems with their computers. I also had an assistant believing in something called the Red Sun, once upon a time. . .

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