Me: This is Dave, how may I help you?
Laptop User: Hey Dave, it’s **, I have a question to ask you regarding something I bought for the laptop.
Me: Sure, go right ahead.
User: Well, it’s an add-on modem I can plug into the side thingie here to get out on the internet faster.
Me: You already have a 56k modem installed on your machine. There’s no need to get another modem for your machine, that’s just a waste of money.
User: Really? I was told I can use this modem and add it on to my modem to make it faster.
Dave’s Head: Hmmm, I suppose I could show him how to shotgun the connection. Then again, I had to show this guy how to double click a mouse to open up a file just a month ago.
Me: Well, yeah, but you run the risk of the machine exploding because of the added resources you will need for running the modem.
User: Shit! Get out of here?!
Dave’s Head: Holy shit, he’s falling for it, he’s actually falling for it…
User: I’m taking this back ASAP. Thanks for the help chief! I’ll see ya when I am in the area on the 5th of November so you can show me how to set up a wireless network at home.
Dave’s Head: I hate being called chief dick…
Dave’s Hand: click, click, click, type, type, type, type…
Dave’s Head: Select November 5th, add date reminder, you’re going to be sick today.
Me: Sure thing **, it’s been good hearing from ya.
I like being a dick sometimes… 🙂