Bartender, I’ll have a double…

I swear I am going to kill this son of a bitch. I’m gonna rip off his head and poop down his neck. I’m going to slap him so hard that the guy next to him is going to feel it.

Ok, breathe easy Dave…

*assumes lotus position*

Why am I so mad? Well, I just happened to check my work e-mail today to see if the boss is going to be in tomorrow and look at what one of our confoundedly moronic individuals sent out to EVERYONE in the god damn organization. Including some of the lovely folks overseas…

My address book has been infected with a virus, and as a result, so has yours because your address was in my book. The virus is called jdbgmgr.exe. It cannot be detected by Norton or McAfee anti-virus programs. It supposedly sits dormant for 14 days before damaging the system. It is sent automatically by messenger and by the address book whether or not you send e-mails.
To Get Rid of It:
1. Go to Start, then Find or Search.
2. In Files/Folders write the name jdbgmgr.exe
3. Be sure to search your “C” drive
4. Click Find or Search
5. The virus has a teddy bear logo with the name jdbgmgr.exe – DO NOT OPEN!
6. Right click and delete it.
7. Go to the recycle bin and delete it there also.
IF YOU FIND THE VIRUS, YOU MUST CONTACT EVERY ONE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it was very easy to get rid of.

Had this pathetic piece of shit simply notified me first like he was supposed to, I would have kindly sent him to this web site like I do with everyone else.

But, nooooooooooooooooooooooo…

He’s gone and alarmed the shit out of everyone thinking they have this “VIRUS TO BEAT ALL VIRUSES.”

I of course sent this dingle berry of a nimrod an e-mail kindly directing him of the correct procedure (ie: let me know of anything suspicious before making a total asshole of yourself) and the link to that address above so he can see what he did.

I am going to have the absolute worst fucking Monday.

Folks, if you ever receive an e-mail telling you of the latest mega virus that would not only destroy your computer but give you the most intense form of diarrhea you have ever had, check out this site below first:

http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html

Before making an ass out of yourself and making a real shitty work day for people like me.

If you would also like to know about the more recent viruses, kindly direct your browsers to here to:

http://securityresponse.symantec.com/

I’m making myself one stiff vodka martini now…

6 replies on “Bartender, I’ll have a double…”

Fortunately when I got that email I thought to go to the site and look for it, because I figured if it was so bad I would have gotten a notice or it would at least be in the news right? Haha, there it was, a hoax, and the cute lil’ teddy stayed right on my ‘puter where he belonged. Hope you got it all straightened out Dave…

Heh… I got an email like that, only I was stupid and deleted the file. I got an email 2 seconds later telling me it was a hoax, so I got a friend to send me the file again over ICQ. *Lol* Looots o’ idiots in the world!

Hrm…interesting choice of a file to list as a “virus” this time…makes me wonder if maybe the person was trying to hook onto and feed the Bugbear frenzy by choosing a file that has a bear as an icon…

I hate virus warnings. Unless I see it on a legitimate website, I don’t even read them anymore.

Oh! And Dave – you can come hide out here after the dismemberment…

Ahem, that email was sent to most people here too, including myself. Fortunately the only right thing the IT dept here has ever done was protect that win folder from users. Hence, when the idiot (me) deleted the file, I didn’t really delete it. Honestly, I thought it was a good laugh, since no damage was done. I thought they’d follow up with an email such as “in these cases..do this..” but nope, they aren’t *that* good.

People are really idiots, aren’t they? I get phonecalls over this one all the time (and send them to the same URL). By my count, this is the third version of this particular hoax, although I’m sure it’s been done more than the three different files I’ve seen associated with it.

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