more than money at western union

:yawn:

:scratch: :scratch: :scratch:

:yawn:

man am I tired and sore! 🙁 I finally got around to playing tennis with devina yesterday near her place. she doesn’t really know how to play tennis, so I was giving her some lessons on her forehand. after some time practicing she didn’t do half bad and we had some good volleys going every once in a while. 🙂 next week I’m showing her the backhand, however my serve sucks some major ass so that one she’s gotta figure out on her own! 😆 I wish I had someone around here that knew how to play tennis so that I can play when I felt like it. perhaps i’ll show my brother. 🙂 yeah that’s it! he needs to get outside more because he’s been looking bored lately just fiddling around on his computer. this weekend I’m getting a couple of baseball gloves and we’re going to find somewhere to throw the ball around. then I gotta show him how to play tennis and how to swing a golf club. perhaps i’ll even get him to learn to shoot pool!! ahhh I can see it now, my brother hustling at the local pool hall by his 16th birthday. that would rock! :lmao:

devina and I also went to play mini-golf as well, but I didn’t get a chance to go to the driving range to smack some golf balls around. anytime I play mini-golf I have to find a golf driving range to play a bucket. I think it’s because I am always so tempted to take a good whack when I am playing at the mini-golf course. 😆 since there were so many people waiting there (two hours just to play a bucket of balls!!), we left and did some shopping around. it’s amazing to see how many stores are open on what’s supposed to be an “important” religious holiday. I can remember when absolutely nothing was open on easter sunday. nowadays, it was hard to find something that was closed on one of the holiest of days. just goes to prove that above all else, corporate america worships the almighty dollar more than anything else.

a funny thing happened to me last thursday that I completely forgot to write about. for all my friends though, this is a typical dave story so sit down and prepare to laugh. 🙂

i went to the local western union to send some money to a friend in need. I get there and saw a young attractive columbian girl taking care of her mom while they were both watching some novella. she says hello and I ask her where the “send money” forms are so she walks me to the back where the forms are. as she is grabbing the form, she slides her hand up and down my upper back which I found slightly odd, but it did not bother me. latin men and women are very open and affectionate because that is how many of the families are brought up. whereas other ethnicities have problems with like let’s say father and son giving each other hugs and kisses on the cheek, we do not. anyhoo, she gets me the form and I start filling it out and she starts asking 3 million questions…

her: what country are you from?
me: this country, my parents are honduran though
her: do you speak spanish? (meanwhile she’s asking me this in spanish…)
me: *thinking to myself, ummm… aren’t I talking to you in spanish*
me: a little
her: do you work?
me: yup
her: do you have a car?
me: ummm… yup
her: do you have a wife?
me: wha?!? no
her: do you have a girlfriend?
me: yes

now… I’m answering these questions, but I am wondering why… I mean there’s one thing to make small talk, but it’s a completely different story when you ask for vitals. now as it may seem obvious to everyone reading this now, I had no clue she was trying to pick me up. ask my ex’s and they will all agree that when it comes to such matters, I am utterly clueless. my ex steph, literally hit me on the head with a book and told me she liked me :lol:. oddly enough, I barely get hit on by women. most of the “come-on’s” are from men at clubs, bars or public restrooms. :-/

so, I fill out the form and bust out the wallet to give her some cash. her eyes open wide just like in the cartoons (i’m surprised they didn’t fall out and roll around) and she mentions that I must have a good job. I tell her my company treats me well and I ask her how much everything will be, including the money for my transaction. she gets next to me and her hands now find their way to my ass. while she’s rubbing my ass, she tells me fee amounts.

alright, her hand’s on my ass…

hey wait a minute! she’s hitting on me!! (yes folks, I really am this clueless)

holy shit… I’m being hit on in a western union!! oh devina’s gonna love this story when I tell her

“let me have your phone number and we’ll forget about those fees,” she mentions as she now has her whole hand attached to my bum. I let her know that I have a girlfriend to which she replies, “she doesn’t have to know anything.”

hmmmm…

so I decided to do what any faithful and happy boyfriend would do. I gave her my number which in reality was the phone number of the jersey city police department (the only number I had in my mind at the time). she took off the fee, gave my bottom a firm squeeze, said bye and I left dumbfounded. with the extra money, I bought a wendy’s mandarin chicken salad for lunch (BTW, have you guys had this yet?!?! it’s sooooooooooooooooo good! I’m fully addicted :sigh:) and called up devina at work to tell her this story. she laughed her ass off and most likely told everyone else at her job. hey, I’m faithful, but I am certainly not dumb… I could play along for a bargain. 😀

so that was my afternoon lunch break last thursday.

a couple of hours after my lunch, one of the sales reps called to let me know that her mail wasn’t working well after she tried using her cell phone as a modem for her laptop. after a good hearty laugh to myself, I got her info so that I could print out her e-mails and fax them to her. while printing out her mail, I noticed that there was a message from a gentleman who had “canine semen” ready for pickup… I *hope* she’s a dog breeder… :whew: let me tell ya something folks… be careful about what you send to your work mail account because you’ll never know who reads it and what gets backed up.

wooo! participation positives

  • i find out how much I am getting for my totaled car
  • got to be active yesterday and play some tennis with my sweetie
  • just went to the local driving range to smack some golf balls around
  • the president at my company was impressed with my help today, so he’s letting me leave early
  • met a new local friend via AOL instant messenger today 😀 hi jenny!

6 replies on “more than money at western union”

That was a pretty good story. I would have to say that you aren’t clueless whatsoever. I think you are just feigning cluelessness so you seem more endearing.. It’s the “aww… he’s helpless which makes him even more cute” syndrome.. I’m onto ya! Hehe.. J/K.. Hell I can’t believe she didn’t just grab you and go to town with you right then and there. Why stop at just an ass grab? Sheesh!! 8) No disrespect to Devina, but some women just have some nerve. My b/f got hit on in Chinatown this weekend at this coffeeshop and the matronly Chinese ladies used the same exact line, “She doesn’t have to know”… WTF?? I should whip out my own chancleta on these women.

damn dave you are slower than living in hell. the hand on your back should have tipped you off right from the friggin start. strangers don’t touch each other – no matter what ethnicity (i hope). you sexy animal you.

Dave, that is hilarious!! Guys never try and pick me up ever, so I’d probably be just as clueless. I’d probably more think that he was just trying to screw with me or something.

Thanks for sharing, that gave me a good laugh!

that was quality. it’s always funny that you whipped out your wallet and loot after she was getting the skinny on you. you probably should have just proposed and gotten it over with.

I am clueless to those things, too. Don’t feel bad. I been through the same situation that you had at Western Union except in my case it was at the local library and I was in fact single. To make a long story short, it was fantastic to say the least.

Pissed because my site is down due to a bad IDE drive on my webserver. Actually my company’s web server.

Tennis is cool. I played Varsity in high school. Don’t know how good I am today but I can definately woop ass in golf.

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