That damned MSN Messenger…

Do you remember the very first time you were watching an R-rated movie with your parents and a hot and steamy sex scene came on? Do you remember that first horrible tinge of total embarrassment that just makes everything in the room go eerily quiet? Now I am not talking about the “you farting in public and blaming the dog” embarrassment, this is much worse. Well, I think I have finally reached that level of embarrassment yesterday… Allow me to explain and let everyone get a cool hearty laugh on my part. 😉

So anyway, I am hanging out with a friend and I am showing her my laptop and how to do some basic HTML and stuff (she’s got dsl and I set up her home network like a couple of months ago). I just plug in to get the wicked fast connection and I start downloading some music showing her the beauty of peer-to-peer file sharing. I am showcasing all of this stuff to her family (mind you her dad’s a priest and her mom’s sort of like tipper gore) and then I leave it there downloading some stuff.

Now, MSN Messenger has this nasty ass habit on my laptop of starting up and logging me in automatically even though I turn it off (perhaps it’s all of those registry hacks I made or something). One of my friends sees that I am on and starts sending me a file… A rather large file without me knowing. This friend of mine is your stereotypical drunk, horny, white, Abercrombie & Fitch wearing, pop-rock loving fratboy (I can imagine some of you know where this is going already…) who loves his share of on-line porn, especially the more “slightly out of the norm” variety. He knows not to send them to my work account because well ya know, I don’t have speakers on my machine… So every once in a blue moon he sends me some stuff and I watch get a laugh out of it and move on with chatting to whomever I am chatting with.

Now, we’re all there talking about the internet and the dad starts with a discussion about the bad parts of the net… Ya know warez, porn, hackers, Wayne Newton websites and I obviously agree, but I proceed to tell him that the net has really just grown into it’s own culture. It happens everywhere, you place a whole mess of people somewhere and everyone will be all good and dandy and follow the rules, but eventually things like this start popping up. It’s human nature…

So now the conversation starts turning good and we’re all throwing in our two cents when all of a sudden weird noises are coming from my laptop… Almost like sucking noises and grunts. Curious, the mom gets up and starts heading back to check out what the noise is… She goes to the kitchen to make sure the faucet’s not leaking and then the garbage disposal and then the dishwasher… Nada… As she is walking back she takes a look at my laptop just as I was talking about something or other when she lets out “What on earth is she doing!!! Oh my heavens!!!”

Startled, we all head back (as she is red-faced, bug-eyed and clasping the sides of her face) to my laptop when all of a sudden we see some Asian girl ummm… Doing something to a guy and he’s “releasing himself” all over her face. My mind races back to when I was 12 years old watching a movie with my parents and a naked girl is on top of a guy screaming her ass off as my dad hurriedly (while cursing) changes the channel only to turn on Playboy (cursing even more) by accident and then the local Mets game (cursing now because they are losing badly)… Remember that embarrassment I was talking about first?? Well, there ya go baby! It’s come back with a vengeance!

My face was redder than last night’s cranberry juice and vodka…
The dad up and freaked babbling some religious stuff…
The wife was still screaming in shock…
My friend was laughing her ass off and states in the most calm of voices…

Bukake

Then starts laughing all over again…

I closed the laptop (still playing that file mind you), I thanked them for a pleasant evening and I went through their door just as the girl in the porn was saying “yeah baby give me more”. I get downstairs, close the file, send a huge f-you to my friend, shut down and she calls me up ten minutes later still laughing and all I could think to ask her was how the hell she knew “bukake”! Eh well, I get stuck in the most fascinating circumstances, don’t you agree??

4 replies on “That damned MSN Messenger…”

That was really hilarious. I would have to say that this story beats the time when you told me about the toilet seat story and how you didn’t know all this time how to use it. LOL!

that was the funniest embarassing thing i’ve ever heard (read). a little off the topic … thank you so much for dropping by my site and leaving me such beautiful inspirational words. I truly appreciate it!

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