Kinda makes ya think

Here’s another dandy I pulled from my old e-mail archives. My friends and I actually did most of this stuff in here too though the one I loved to do most was riding in the back of pickup trucks, Are you not allowed to do it anymore? That blows.

It’s a sad sad sad world for kids nowadays isn’t it?

Somehow We Survived

If you lived as a child in the 50’s, 60’s or 70’s. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that we have lived as long as we have…

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention hitchhiking to town as a young kid!)

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times we learned to solve the problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell phones. Unthinkable.

We played dodgeball and sometimes the ball would really hurt. We got cut and broke bones and broke teeth, and there were no law suits from these accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame, but us. Remember accidents?

We had fights and punched each other and got black and blue and learned to get over it.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda but we were never overweight… We were always outside playing. We shared one grape soda with four friends, from one bottle and no one died from this. We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X Boxes, video games at all, 99 channels on cable, video tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones, Personal Computers, Internet chat rooms… we had friends. We went outside and found them. We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s home and knocked on the door, or rung the bell or just walked in and talked to them.

Imagine such a thing. Without asking a parent! By ourselves! Out there in the cold cruel world! Without a guardian. How did we do it?

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate worms and although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live inside us forever.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment… Some students weren’t as smart as others so they failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade… Horrors. Tests were not adjusted for any reason.

Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected. No one to hide behind. The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law, imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years has been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you’re one of them.


A politically correct holiday card

Listened to this on my way into work on the radio this morning. Couldn’t stop cracking up… Though, I don’t see this being too far off with the way most asshats are griping about people decorating their property to reflect their feelings on this holiday season.

Holiday Greetings!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the Winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular/sexual persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious/ secular/sexual traditions at all…


A fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2004, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make *Canada great, (not to imply that Canada is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “country” in the World,) and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

So, therefore, to some and all have a Happy and Healthy Holiday Season from, the wisher.

::Feel free to insert country of your choice::

Happy ‘holidays’

Sex and First Letter of your name

Just got this from my friend, Denise. Funny eh??

According to studies, your sexual identity is revealed by the first letter of your first name. What do you think?

A :: You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can’t be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, demure, and subtly enticing. You are an up front person. When it comes to sex, it’s action that counts not obscure hints. Your mate’s physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the “hunt” invigorating. You are passionate and sexual as well as being much more adventurous than you appear; however, you do not go around advertising these qualities. Your physical needs are your primary concern.

B :: You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an statement of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You are private in your statement of endearments and particularly when it comes to lovemaking. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and abstain from sex if need be. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

C :: You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness. You must be able to talk to your sex partner before, during, and after. You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sexual and sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to go for long periods without sexual activity. You are an expert at controlling your desires and doing without.

D :: Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly sexual, passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvement, sometimes possessive and jealous. Sex to you is a pleasure to be enjoyed. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open.

E :: Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion for a bedmate. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important than the sexual act for you, but once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. When you don’t have a good lover to fall asleep with, you will fall asleep with a good book. (Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book.)

F :: You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous, sexual, and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are your favorite fantasy pastime. You can be a very generous lover.

G :: You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of erotic stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active sexually that is, when you find the time. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to a lover, but no trouble getting close sexually.

H :: You seek a mate who can enhance your reputation and earning ability. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment, though, you tend to be frugal in your spending and dating habits and equally cautious in your sexual involvement. You are a sensual and patient lover.

I :: You have a great need to be loved, appreciated…Even worshipped. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and pleasures of the flesh. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You are not interested in an amateur, unless that amateur wants a tutor. You are fussy and exacting about having your desires satisfied. You are willing to experiment and try new modes of sexual statement. You bore easily and thus require sexual adventure and change. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

J :: You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of paramount importance to you. You are free in your statement of love and are willing to take chances, try new sexual experiences and partners, provided it’s all in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise you will find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining and dining to know that you’re being appreciated.

K :: You are totally f**king marvelous!

L :: You are very romantic, idealistic, and somehow you believe that to love means to suffer. You wind up serving your mate or attracting people who have unusual troubles. You see yourself as your lover’s savior. You are sincere, passionate, lustful, and dreamy. You can’t help falling in love. You fantasize and get turned on by movies and magazines. You do not tell others of this secret life, nor of your sexual fantasies.

M :: You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total sexual freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of sexual energy is inexhaustible. You also enjoy mothering your mate.

N :: You are crap in bed.

O :: You are very interested in sexual activities yet secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your sexual energy into making money and/or seeking power. You can easily have extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate, sexual lover, requiring the same qualities from your mate. Sex is serious business; thus you demand intensity diversity, and are willing to try anything or anyone. Sometimes your passions turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

P :: You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn’t think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count, therefore, you require a good-looking partner. You also require an intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy; a good fight stimulates those sex vibes. You are relatively free of sexual hang-ups. You are willing to experiment and try new ways of doing things. You are very social and sensual; you enjoy flirting and need a good deal of physical gratification.

Q :: You require constant activity and stimulation. You have tremendous physical energy. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you, sexually or otherwise. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people of other ethnic groups. You need romance, hearts and flowers, an lots of conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

R :: You are a no-nonsense, action-oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal the smarter the better. You are turned on more quickly by a great mind than by a great body. However, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You have to be proud of your partner. You are privately very sexy, but you do not beg, you are willing to serve as teacher. Sex is important; you can be a very demanding playmate.

S :: You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy, sensual and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this past of your nature reveal itself. When it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are an expert. You know all the little tricks of the trade, can play any role or any game, and take your love life very seriously. You don’t fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along.

T :: You are very sensitive, private, and sexually passive; you like a partner who takes the lead. Music, soft lights and romantic thoughts turn you on. You fantasize but do not tend to fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, mushy and extremely intense. You enjoy having your senses and your feelings stimulated, titillated, and teased. You are a great flirt. You can make your relationships fit your dreams, often times all in your own head.

U :: You are enthusiastic and idealistic when in love. When not in love, you are in love with love, always looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You are a roamer and need adventure, excitement, and freedom. You deal in potential relationships. You enjoy giving gifts and enjoy seeing your mate looking good. Your sex drive is strong and you desire instant gratification. You are willing to put your partner’s pleasures above your own.

V :: You are individualistic, and you need freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. Knowing someone means psyching him out. You feel a need to get into his head to see what makes him tick. You are attracted to eccentric types. Often there is an age difference between you and your lover. You respond to danger, thrills and suspense. The gay scene turns you on even though you yourself may not be a participant.

W :: You are very proud, determined, and you refuse to take no for an answer when pursuing love. Your ego is at stake. You are romantic, idealistic and often in love with love itself, not seeing your partner as he or she really is. You feel deeply and throw all of yourself into your relationships. Nothing is too good for your lover. You enjoy playing love games.

X :: You need constant stimulation because you bore quickly. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You can’t shut off your mind. You talk while you make love. You can have the greatest love affairs, all by yourself, in your own head.

Y :: You are sexual, sensual, and very independent. If you can’t have it your way, you will forgo the whole thing. You want to control your relationships, which doesn’t always work out too well. You respond to physical stimulation, enjoy necking and spending hours just touching, feeling and exploring. However, if you can spend your time making money, you will give up the pleasures of the flesh for the moment. You need to prove to yourself and your partner what a great lover you are. You want feedback on your performance. You are an open, stimulating, romantic bedmate.

Z :: For you, it is business before pleasure. If you are in any way bothered by career, business, or money concerns, you find it very hard to relax and get into the mood. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and are capable of much sensuality. But you never lose control of your emotions. You are very careful and cautious before you give your heart away and your body, for that matter. Once you make the commitment, though, you stick like glue.

The Class of 2003

Got this one from Steph

Just in case you weren’t feeling old enough today, this will certainy change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the Faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshman.

Here is this year’s list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985.

They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably did not know he had ever been shot.

They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

There has been only one Pope in their lifetime.

They were 8 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Tianamen Square means nothing to them.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.

The statement “You sound like a broken record” means nothing to them.

They have never owned a record player.

They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pong.

They may have never heard of an 8 track. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.

They have always had an answering machine.

Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black and white TV.

They have always had cable.

There have always been VCRs, but they have no idea what BETA was.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

They don’t know what a cloth baby diaper is, or know about the “Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” commercial.

Feeling old Yet? There’s more:

They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.

Roller skating has always meant inline for them.

Michael Jackson has always been white.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They have never seen Larry Bird play.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as W.W.I, W.W.II and the Civil War.

They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.

They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from. (The correct answer, by the way, is Ork)

They never heard: “Where’s the beef?”, “I’d walk a mile for a Camel,” or “De plane, de plane!”

They do not care who shot J.R. and have no idea who J.R. was.

Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are bands, not places.

There has always been MTV.

They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.