Nooo! Not my balls!

Ever do something really stupid in public where when the people help you out, you feel even more stupid??

Check out what genius Dave did today. Devina wound up driving up to meet me at my place, so we then decided to head out to Mitsuwas to grab some take-out Japanese… I must admit I wasn’t impressed at all with their Chirashi. It sucked ass to put it lightly, but what can ya do right?

Afterwards, we head on out to the golf driving range that’s right next to Mitsuwas and she wants to go up on the second floor. Mind you I have a pseudo fear of heights, (she doesn’t know this) so I am never crazy about hitting golf balls from there. However, I decide to tough it up and head on to the second floor. When we get there, we set up next to each other and I go to get some golf balls. Now, while still fairly nervous, I go to the “golf ball giver” machine, place the tokens in and watch in horror as the balls magically fall all over the floor because Dave the Tool forgot to get the bucket.

Yes, yes, you may all laugh now because that’s just what I did…

To make matters worse, the 5 guys all driving around me start smirking and picking up my balls that just happened to stray in their direction… Adding insult to injury, some nice lady gave me a bucket to put the balls in and asked “Don’t you need this?” How fucking sweet of her eh?? So after that fiasco, it actually went very well! I didn’t shank the ball or anything… All nice and clean hits. Perhaps one of these days I should actually play golf!

The rest of the day was pretty good. We got to watch one of my all-time fave movies, Trading Places and later on I hopped on-line to catch up with old friends. Get this, I’m talking to Lynne and Nic from sends me a message thanking me for linking her and complimenting my site!

Where is the Astro Glide?!?!

Today was a very good day for yours truly… 😉

Woke up fairly late and proceeded to get ready to head on down south to spend the day with Devina. I drop by the local CVS down there to pick up a box of Altoids and a small inconspicuous bottle of AstroGlide.

By now you can pretty much figure out how the day’s gonna turn out…

So I get to the counter and the poor salesgirl took a look at the bottle and just absolutely flipped!! You’d think I whipped out the hog or something by how she reacted to seeing the bottle. She even had to get her manager to ring everything up for me because she was too red-faced to even look in my direction. Now I personally don’t give a crap nor do I get embarrassed by getting items of an intimate nature, but I find it really odd that someone could act that way and work in a pharmacy… I mean for Christ’s sake, what if some poor nervous 15 year old comes to her with a box of condoms?!?! She’ll give the poor kid a complex! Ya know, if you get freaked out by such items perhaps you should work in a more appropriate environment. I would absolutely love to take out that sales girl to the Pink Pussycat over on West 4th in the village and see her reaction to that place! I can see it now…

Me: “Hey check out them Leopard print handcuffs and that dildo!”
Her: *screams* *faints* *thud*

Well anyway, I left that place chuckling and I decided to listen to the radio for a little bit when I heard a car beeping behind me. Thinking it was someone wanting to get into my spot, I just waved them off. So they decided to pull up right next to me and beep again… Now with middle finger fully armed, I turned around to see my ex Steph and her friend samar in Steph’s shiny new blue Mercedes C230 (or was it a 320) beeping right at me! Fully surprised, I get out of my car and we exchange our pleasantries. Then I get to check out her new ride. Man it was one fucking sweet ass car…

After that, I finally got my ass to Devina’s place and we wound up playing pool after eating a very nice meal she cooked for me. Again my shiny new black cue (I should give it a name shouldn’t I?) reigned supreme! We watched some of that Concert for New York and was really shocked to see The Who reunited once again! They of course kicked ass…

Gimme some sugar baby!

Damn Frank is the muddafucking man!

As you can see above, I have a small calendar which functions nicely as an archive tool… Just navigate backwards or forwards and it should highlight any dates with blog entries attached to them…

I was having major problems debugging it yesterday, so I decided to sleep on it and work on it some more today. It got the best of me, so I turned to the coding god Frank who let me know the error of my ways. Thus again proving to me that I am still a tool when it comes to coding…

This weekend I’m hopefully going to add my personal cd mixes collection to this place. Dunno why, but I figured it would nicely catalogue my CDs for me. 🙂 I have absolutely nothing planned for today, but that’s a good thing because I get to catch up on some much needed SLEEP!

Seven dirty words

Just got back from Herberts (our local pool hall) and did pretty well, my new pool cue is still making me play soooo much better. Beat Devina 5 games to zip! Muahahahahaha! Eh well, I’ll get my ass beat on one of these days.

So I’ve been meaning to put these two e-mails I have received up here but haven’t had the time, so here they are. Enjoy!

I got this doozy from Steph:

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating …and you finish off as an orgasm.”

This one is from Devina:

In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, “Gosh, if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.”

There was a fish in the water thinking, “Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him.”

There was a bear on the shore thinking, “Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches, that fish will jump for the fly and I will eat him.

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. “Gosh,” he thought, “If that fly goes down three inches and that fish leaps for it …that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I’ll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch.”

(You probably think this is enough activity for one bank of a lake, but, there was more.)

A wee mouse by the hunter’s foot was thinking, “Gosh, If that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish …that dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich.”

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, “Gosh… If that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich …then I can have mouse for lunch.”

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water. The fish swallows the fly …the bear grabs the fish …the hunter shoots the bear …the mouse grabs the sandwich …the cat jumps for the mouse …the mouse ducks …the cat falls into the water and drowns.

The moral of the story is: “Whenever a fly goes down three inches ….Some pussy is in danger.”

Hehe.. I liiiiiike that one… 😉