Funeral processions should be illegal

They really should. I just spent an extra 40 minutes on the road this morning on my way to work because an excessively long funeral procession was making it’s way through one of the most heavily traveled (and single-laned) roads in my area, during RUSH HOUR for christ’s sake! No kidding this choo choo train of mourners was at the very least 29 cars long and I stopped counting because I could not see that far ahead. If I were to venture a guess, there must have been an extra 10 cars in that pack. Now, I’m all for respecting the dead and all, but a lot of these funeral processions need to exercise more tact and common courtesy when they’re out on the road.

For one, don’t do it during the middle of rush hour. What assclown plans a funeral procession during rush hour? I mean, the roads are bad enough as it is with everyone trying to get to work on time, we don’t need people driving 1/10th of the posted speed limit causing an unnecessary delay on our way to work. At the very least, if you’re going to create this disturbance in the normal flow of traffic, please get a little closer to the speed limit and do it during a time when there are much less drivers on the road.

Is there a reason for driving at a turtle’s pace during one of these things anyway? I remember one year, there was a massive procession going up Route 1 and no kidding, it took 15 minutes for all of the cars to cross the highway. The traffic backup was disgusting and grew to miles upon miles long.

If the laws concerning this were up to me, I’d do the following:

  1. You must drive during non-rush hour times, both morning and evening.
  2. You must obey the speed limit.
  3. No more than 10 cars should be allowed to participate in the procession.
  4. You must travel on multi-laned roads and stick all the way to the slow lane. If you must travel on one-laned highways (yes, we have tons of those in Jersey), use the shoulder.

I feel pretty bad that a group of people had to bury a dear friend, but is a little common courtesy for your fellow drivers too much to ask for?

One thought on “Funeral processions should be illegal”

  1. i totally agree. when we were driving from NY to NJ for a relative’s funeral i felt so bad because we were causing so much traffic. i really feel that they should just drive faster.

Comments are closed.