I woke up to the absolute weirdest dream this morning.
I dreamt that Devina and I were hanging out at a local bar with a few of my friends. We were drinking it up and catching up on how things have been going for all of us lately when I felt the need to “break the seal.” So, off I go to the bathroom and when I get in, it turns out I am on the bridge of the Enterprise D with a big ass urinal where the captain’s chair would have been. For those of you not Trek-aware, the Enterprise D is the one where the series The Next Generation took place. The Enterprise E is where they are on now because they destroyed the D in their first feature film. Either way, I mosey on over to the urinal and proceeded to take care of business on the bridge of the Enterprise. Then I picked up a tablet which was sitting on the top of the urinal (they don’t use paper products in the future, they read on these small computerized tablets) and proceeded to read that day’s news. Nothing terribly special though it was today’s news and I was reading about something having to do with the movie The Ring.
Anyway, I hear a toilet flush behind me and it turns out the captain’s quarters on the bridge was where the toilet was located. Out comes Wil Wheaton with a newspaper tucked between his arm and his body and we start talking about tattoos. Then he gets all excited telling me about this new tattoo he got of his kid’s names on his ass and then he asks me if I wanted to see it. For some unknown reason, I tell him “Sure, why not?” and as he is pulling down his pants, the alarm started to ring and I proceed to wake up. Puzzled, I debate whether or not to go back to sleep and force myself to continue the dream and actually check out Mr. Wheaton’s tattoo-laden derriere or get my ass up and hop in the shower. I choose sleep and the dream picks up back in the bar where I’m watching Sarah Michelle Gellar hitting on Devina at the bar while she is getting me a Martini.
Again, the alarm rings and I am faced with another dilemma… Go back to sleep and watch the outcome of this newly found tryst occurring or hop in the shower and get ready for work.
I choose sleep, screw going in late…
Who would have known!?
Anyway, I start getting too drunk and I start picking a fight with Einstein telling him his Theory of Relativity is crap and that I can prove it all wrong with a slinky and some duct tape. We throw down and all of a sudden Mulder and Scully show up asking me to prove my theory because Mulder can tie it to the existence of the Loch Ness monster.
At that point, the alarm rings again and I just choose to hop in the shower. Then again, I wonder what that tattoo looked like?